I am in a vortex of obligation.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
