her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Randomize
