Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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