Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
