you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
