Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
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if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize