he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize