No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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