problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm bleeding and have questions
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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