She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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