One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
