I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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