flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
pray to the hookup gods
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
