Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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