Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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