He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
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let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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