Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
