It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
