Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
