he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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