I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
