What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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