One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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