i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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