Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
