DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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