Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
