The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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