Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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