You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize