Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The ass gains better be worth it
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