Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
