goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize