i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
