Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
no more duck duck goose at the bar
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
