the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize