I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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