this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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