Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
