he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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