8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
