i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
