I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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