seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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