I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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