sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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