Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
