so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
