did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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