it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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