definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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