Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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