no, he came in my armpit
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
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It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
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I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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