so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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