It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
