Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
