it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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