Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
