Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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